Compassionate Inquiry (CI) is an approach to talk therapy, developed, applied and taught by Dr. Gabor Maté and his colleague Sat Dharam N.D. It can act, not only individually as an affective tool for peoples self-care, but also act as an additional option of support in conjunction with other therapies you are connected to. One of the key features of this work is building the mind-body connection.
As indicated in it’s own title, it’s a space to explore and be curious about what might be affecting you in your life & to either find more understanding, presence and compassion for yourself/others/the situation or come into a place of understanding as to why that might be difficult in some specific areas. As Gabor has said before, what affects us in the present moment, often has very little to do with what is happening in the present moment. This approach can be of support to you in making that distinction, healing the remnants of the past, that can support you to lead a life lived with all of the potential freedom that exists within the present.
CI can support you to:
Connect to, listen to and support the process of re-parenting your inner child.
Untangle the web of old belief systems (mind), how the events that formed them affected you (trauma) and the underlining emotions that may have been naturally suppressed at the time of the event(s) (body).
Notice and being curious about limiting coping strategies, defense mechanisms & judgements that we all have of ourselves and of others.
Work with different ‘parts’ of your self similar to the Internal Family Systems approach.
Understanding why present events/situations/people in your life seem like they are repeating themselves/affect you the way the way they do.
What a ‘typical’ session looks like
Setting: Meeting for an hour, either in person or over Zoom. If via Zoom, it’s important to be in a quiet space, that will be free from distractions for an hour.
Grounding (3-5mins): At the beginning of the call, I like to open the space at least a minute of silence, to land into our places and the presence of each other. Beforehand, I will briefly check in to see how you are and how are feeling. If needed we can spend 3-5minutes landing and grounding into the space. I might incorporate different guided meditation techniques during this time to support this process.
Intention Sharing (2-5mins): Sharing the intention for the session is an important start of the Inquiry, as it can anchor where the session goes and also supports you (and me) in clarifying the question: what would you like to get out of the session? Sometimes when working over a period of weeks or months together, an intention is not always clear at the beginning. In these cases, we can take time to explore what’s happening in your day to day life, which can highlight an area for you, that you’d like support with going deeper into to understand and be compassionate with.
The Inquiry (20-45mins): This is where we both open ourselves to be curious about your experience and to the unknown. There are many different ways that the Inquiry can unfold, with some examples of them being stated above under ‘CI can support you to’. During the Inquiry I act as a mirror, a witness, a confidant to hold space & support you in accessing your own truth, wisdom and sense of self-compassion and wholeness, as and when you need along the way.
Landing (remainder of the session): As the Inquiry draws to a close, we can spend some time to land, to reflect on how the session was for you personally and in relation to your intention, to see what you’re taking from the session and how you’re feeling in general before completing the session. I might at times give references as to optional things you can to do to support the integration of the inquiry based on my experience of their practice.
Important things to know before the inquiry:
There is no question that I ask, that you are obliged to answer. Each question asked can act as someone pointing in a certain direction of where you can go, but it’s always up to you whether or not it’s a step you want to take.
It’s important to honour yourself throughout the inquiry process. Sometimes that means being ok and compassionate with yourself as to how far you feel comfortable going and whether or not you find the approach or me are compatible for you.
Relationship & Responsibility: As we develop our working relationship, we agree to take responsibility for what shows up for us individually and are open to authentically share that with each other. Anything shared during our sessions together will be kept confidentially.
After Care: Its important to allow yourself time after the session is complete to integrate for yourself and utilize your own means of self-care. There are times where the inquiry can open the space for strong emotions and early childhood memories to come again into your awareness and it’s important that you have your own support systems in place to support you along the way.
Appointments can be arranged on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or on a drop in basis
“Addiction is not a choice that anybody makes, it’s not from moral failure, it’s not an ethical lapse, it’s not a weakness of character, it’s not a failure of will – which is how our society debates addiction, nor is it an inherited brain disease – which is how the medical tendency is to see it.
What it actually is, is a response to human suffering, it’s an attempt to escape suffering temporarily”
Gabor Maté
Testimonial
“I started working with Shane around 5/6 months ago. I was so nervous doing my first few sessions as I wasn’t great at talking about my feelings, but Shane created a beautiful, safe space for me to feel so comfortable to open up about anything. Before starting the sessions, I had no sense of who I really was. I felt a bit lost in life and from doing them I’ve a better understanding of who I am. Iv learnt so much about myself, about my behaviours and beliefs and the pain that lies beneath them. It’s allowed me to acknowledge these traumas and heal from them. Shane has been so compassionate throughout every session. He’s made me feel so safe. His work is truly amazing. He has the kindest soul and I can’t thank him enough for everything he has done for me.” – Deborah
Flow of Life Holistic 